I guess it has adopted me now :| Here he is:

Anywayz, I digress. Coming to the whole point of this post (assuming there is one), I made myself comfortable (to the extent possible) on my aisle seat, and this woman walks up to me all cheerful and friendly. She says her seat’s the one next to mine at the window. I think I should pause here to describe my mental state at this point. I was rudely woken up when my flight landed in Frankfurt, and was trying wake up and compose myself when I found myself stuck in the serpentine line to a security check! I was changing planes within an airport. Why would you need to do a security check! Its not like anyone can smuggle something in-between! So yeah, I was annoyed with that. After that they tell me that I have to have my boarding passes reissued because US airways would like to have its passenger board with boarding passes issued by US airways alone, and not the one’s issued by Lufthansa, why? Because the entire airlines industry is sadistic and paranoid, and yeah, probably because I am not white; hell! for all I know, its because the US airways CEO isn’t getting laid enough. In either case, I really don’t care, and I am really getting close to the edge of my composure right now.

At the end of all this, while I am on my last nerve, and desperately trying to get into my seat and be comfortably unsociable for the rest of the flight, in walks this cheerful woman who, thanks to all the disasters human kind has had to suffer, is now my co-passenger. Well, that did it. I was officially pissed. But I didn’t really want to make a scene, so I did what I am usually good at: ignored her (at least mentally). She did her thing with her carry on and then got into her seat.

I really wanted to be left alone but, much to my dismay, she was feeling quite sociable. She started talking about some guy from Beruit who she was talking to in the airport lounge who wasn’t allowed on the flight. Forced to respond, I mumbled something about irrational paranoia and discrimination. Well, that topic was done with, and she started off on the next one. She wanted to know where I was from, how India was, and where I was going to, and what I doing yada-yada-yada. I, grudgingly, replied to her, and then she was looking at me expecting me to ask her about her. I could really have cared less if she disappeared in a puff of smoke, well actually, I would have been glad about it. But alas, she was still there, and so I had to make small talk. Well, shit!

So I started with the same questions. “Where are you from?”, “New York! Can’t you see the New York accent working here?”, her accent honestly did NOT sound like a New Yorkers, I had pegged her for someone from East Europe. But then, she had convinced herself that she spoke like a New Yorker… well, aint that precious! Anywayz, I digress again.

So yeah, as it turns out she is an asylee from from Albania (aha! I knew she was Eastern European!) who has lived in New York for over 15 years, and works as a bartender. Excellent! Now that I have dispensed the polite lip-service I figured I could go back to minding my business while she does the same. I was back on my iPod and Nintendo DS for about two minutes, and she’s attempting communication again! Jeez! What is she? Some deep space alien trying to make contact?!?

As it turns out, she wanted to talk about her visit to Germany, her family in Albania, and how much she wants to go back. I pretended to be sympathetic to her not realizing that I was drawing myself deeper and deeper into an involved conversation. The next thing you know she has pulled out her family album from her carry-on! Oh Lord! Please, have mercy and strike me now!

Apparently, the Lord is in an unforgiving mood, and I am still here. Out come the photos, and a commentary to go with it. Now these persistent attempts at socializing has sort of had an effect on me (I grudgingly admit), and I started warming up to the conversation, and we started talking. At this point her says that she could really use a cigarette. We still had over 5-6 hours to fly. Well, that was when things started going downhill. Note to self: Never underestimate the impact of nicotine withdrawal.

What followed was an interesting ambivalence in her tone and mannerisms. At times she would act very friendly towards me, bring me water and pretzels from the back on her own accord, and other times act less amused, but never really rude or stand-offish. She even offered me a beer! So I figured that the least I could do was buy her a drink at the airport when we land.

As the journey progresses she was increasingly acrimonious towards everyone except me. I became her confidant of sorts. She would voice all her complaints and grievances to me, like I was her shrink or something. Come to think of it, maybe she does need one! Anywayz, every air-hostess who came a second too late was a bitch, and any interruption by the captain to update us of the journey and landing was uncalled for, and he was an asshole. In the meantime she took immense interest in some other girl who was sitting close to us, and apparently this girl brought out the lesbian in her! I was back to praying the lord again “Please Lord, do me a favor and strike me down now. Even decompression will do, I’ll take an icy death over insane confessions any day!”

This lady hit her belligerent best when the customs and immigration forms were distributed. She didn’t care what it was and why it was needed. At this point, the INS, FAA, US Dept of Homeland Security were all a bunch of assholes and bitches who can kiss her Albanian behind! After a careful series of sympathetic responses and feigned ignorance, I got away unscathed from her unmerciful torrent of epithets. Nicotine is much like God, it works in mysterious ways! Especially on New Yorkers, or maybe it Albanians, anywayz… I digress.

Finally, the plane landed and we all got out. As we were walking towards immigration, I figured I do owe her a drink. After all she did give me one. but was I slowed down for her her reaction was “You don’t have to slow down for me! We are not together!” Finally, my diplomatic immunity had expired. The last traces of Nicotine had finally left her bloodstream, and she couldn’t tell friends apart from foes anymore. Shaking my head in sympathy, I gave her the I-am-giving-you-the-finger look, and walked on.

Was it the smoker, the New Yorker, or the Albanian with all the drama? Or a combination of all three? I’ll never know… and could care less. Hey, looking on the bright side, the episode gave me something to talk about! :)

It all started at 8 in the evening. A buch of people were invited and they started arriving.. one by one….

Here I am (the guy in the grey shirt) during the sober, saner time of the evening, with friends.Of course, every Bday has to have a cake… and here was mine.

But as I was cutting the cake… came the first jolt! :)
And here’s the mug shot

That was just the begining… by the time they were through with me…. I was on the ground. But, I had my revenge, as I poured coke all over the guys….

It was all good in the end…. the one day in the year that people get to kick my ass :).. gotta give a little right ;)

Now that I have sacrilegiously butchered Chaos Theory, lets go back to what this blog post is supposed to be about.

It wouldnt be exaggeration, though inaccurate, to say that I havent been home (my apartment), for over two weeks now, it has been over two weeks of vacation. It was supposed to be a well deserved break, but I find myself saying “What have I done to deserve this?”. A break by definition is supposed to last for a short period of time… then again, short by definition is subjective. So, for me, right here, right now is the limit, the boundary of what I consider a short period of time. As the ‘break’ beings to last longer, it demands reclassification, as it ceases to be a break any more. To me that reclassification is Bohemia. A break from routine is becoming a break from reality. I realized that it is not a very smart idea to spend over a week in an island that has nothing to offer but the company of other people. That’s pretty much what South Padre Island is. There is nothing beautiful inherent on this island. People go here because everyone else goes there. If you were to take all human inhabitation of the island for a brief moment in time and freeze it, the vulgarity of the place would be stark and apparent. One would detest the place of what it has become. I guess vegas has streched the limits of how we much we can endure and how carnal and beastly man’s vulgarity can be. I have, but seen a glimpse of what it is. I but tasted the pleasure, swallowed a mouthful and spit out the rest of it.

And I sit here, longing to go back home, longing to go back to life, back to routine, back to a place from where I know I can move ahead. I sit here, at brownsville airport awaiting my elusive flight to take me back to where I came from. I sit here, half way between the gutter and the stars.

I was browsing through the dusty corners of my music collection. Stumbled upon Amy Grant. It has been a really long time since I listened to her songs. It was kinda nostalgic, and reminded me of my school days when every other week I used to ‘fall in love’ in some female singer/artist or another. I am kinda reliving those days now, I am watching old videos of all those songs that had me captivated thanks to the beautiful faces on screen.
I am sure everyone has their list of music celebrities that they have had crushes on… Here’s mine (in no particular order of preference): Amy Grant, it started with the video ‘Baby, Baby’. Saw it again today. I still find her beautiful. She has that almost innocent charm in that video… takes me back many years :) Gwen Stefani, I first saw her in the video ‘don’t Speak’. I kept hunting for her videos and pics for a long time. Of course, her talent goes a long way in accenting her beauty. If it wasn’t for her voice and music.. well.. she’d be just another pretty face Shania Twain , The first time I heard her voice was on a tape that I borrowed form my classmate in school in my 12th grade. The voice invoked a curiosity and then I saw her in the album cover, oh man.. was she a sight! :) Andrea Corr (Lead vocalist of ‘The Corrs’), Actually I love all the three of them, but I had to pick one, so here she is :) I like their style of music, especially the way they blend Irish folk music with pop. Nancy Wilson (Heart), it was more of the symbol that she stood for that appealed to me. Woman in rock.. she was the perfect personification Belinda Carlisle, I really dont know why I liked her so much.. sure she’s got a pretty face, but then so do a million other people. There is something about her… Still cant put my finger on it. Paula Abdul, I saw her first the music video ‘opposites attract’. The raw sensuality that she exuded had me hooked. Karen Carpenter, Aaaaahhh…. she was something else. Her voice is the sweetest thing I have heard to date. She is one person that I fell for solely because of her voice. It was so heavenly, you just cant get enough of it. Keep wondering if I am still over her ;) ]]> http://www.semanticoverload.com/2005/06/19/my-celebrity-musician-crushes/feed/ 3 http://www.semanticoverload.com/2005/06/09/new-camera/ http://www.semanticoverload.com/2005/06/09/new-camera/#comments Thu, 09 Jun 2005 07:45:00 +0000 Semantic Overload http://semanticoverload.gaddarinc.com/?p=77 Finally got my super zoom camera. It was a steal at $253!
I am now the proud owner of Canon Powershot S1. With an Image Stabilization, no more shaken pictures :)
Here’s the first shot….

First pic from my new camera

I was drifting away to sleep and I knew it. Again, I was talking to the driver. But this time, the converstion seemed like a series of disconnected statements. Yet, in a wierd way, it seemed logical. It was funny coz I was completely at ease talking like that, and that wasnt me at all. Suddenly I felt a load on my neck. I had let me head fall ahead in sleep, and that woke me up with a start. The driver was still on the phone. It didnt take me long to realize what happened. I was dreaming and, the wierdest thing was that, only a part of my dream was my imagination at work. The words he was speaking on the phone was actually his part of the conversation in my dream. My mind was actually making up may part of the conversation to make sense of his monosyllabic answers. That simply means my dream was actually a response to external stimuli. My mind would hear the words, and then make up appropriate questions/responses that I should have had to ellicit such a repose from the driver, and then play the dialogue to me as a dream! Mind’s seemingly infinite ability to regress had me spellbound.

This was a choice I made. I wanted to go back to college, and so I did. You could say I was prepared to downgrade my standard of living, learn harsh frugality for a PhD in return. But that’s not the point here.

What I am talking about is the human nature to accept and enjoy his subsistence on the diminishing means, and still be optimistic, resilient about it. Less than a month ago, I could afford a meal in any eat around in the world. And today, the thrill that I get from a buffet for $5 is as much as winning a million dollar lottery. Nothing’s changed really. Only the circumstances that’s all. I am no less happy now, than I was before. In fact, I think I feel a lot more relaxed now, than before. What is it that makes us this way? Is man masochistic by nature? Can he really “enjoy” only misery and pain? I know that happiness is just a state of mind, but what brings about such a state in the first place. This is not just about the experience that I am having. Generally speaking, the most affluent and well of often have a sob story to tell. But the poor apparent laugh a lot more in their lifetime than others. Are we only buying and earning hardships and sorrow without even realizing it? Or is it that, the more means you have for happiness, the fewer avenues you have to attaining it? Is this why often people simply give up all that they have made so long and start afresh? Or is the number of choices of being happy so many that people are often overwhelmed and cannot choose one, so they end up sad. To break this cycle they go back to square one where they have very few choices to make?

Comments Solicited :)

A lot’s happened since my last post. For one, I am currently at geographically diametric position with respect to where I was at my last post. I am 10.5 hrs behind India. That’s right, I am in the US of fuckin A at Texas. It has been a disappointing 2 weeks here.

There a lot of things I realized that sux about america. For starts, they are pretty unhygenic (despite all that they claim). They are clean alright, but only if u look at their surroundings. Presonal hygiene is at the pits. It’s ok not to have a bath for a week here so long as u dunk urself in deo/perfume and u smell nice. The concept for smelling fresh is alien to them. No matter how hard u try, it just doesnt occur to them that water cleans better than toilet paper! Come on, u dont need a PhD to figure that one out!

Incientally, I am here to do my PhD in Computer Science. But going by the funding scene here, I might end up shifting to computer engineering. Dunno, things are simply too fluid here.

Going back to the place and people. There are too many desis for comfort out here. The first week was like a mini India. Desis here are paranoid about each other here. If one is applying for a student worker job or assistantship, then he is so secretive about it that he jumps from bush to bush and hides in the leaves on his way to the interview, lest should he be spotted, followed and then face more competition.

One good thing from this excercise has been the time that I have for myself right now. I have already finished reading 3 good books, and the count is going up. The library here is simply too good! You cannot afford to browse at the library. There are simply too many books and you will only get lost. The only way u can do it is online, and that too if u know the author and/or the title. The university library has a HUGE collection of fiction from science fiction and fantasy to philosophy and sociology. This place is worth being at, if not for anything else, for the library.

Reading suggestion: “Road Less Travelled” by Scott Peck, “Dandleion Wine” by Ray Bradbury

Expect more updates on this page.

Ciao

It started with a mad rush into a zigzag queued enclosure, like sheeps leading themselves to the slaughterhouse. After standing there for over 30 min, so densely packed that I could smell the sweat of the person 5 people ahead of me, we were let loose into a huge cage, the only thing missing were the restraining chains. The entire crowd was stuck there for an hour or so. This was the worst. There was absolutely no ventilation, no proper wash basins or toilets. There were scores of couple with 1-2 year old kids who cant hold their bladders or bowls. I dont think I need to elaborate on it.

At the end of it all u get into a queue and the barber tonsures the piligrims one after another with the skill of a veteran butcher deskinning the chicken.

At the end of it I was all too happy to be out in the open again, and be able to breathe air that was stinking!

After that there wasn way I was going there for the darshan…. There is no way I am even gonna attempt to get any close within a 10 mile radius of tirupati!