It is not uncommon to see people seeking acceptance. They want to be accepted by somebody, or some group. For some it is the need to be associated with a communal identity, for a few others it is a niche where they can feel secure, there are those for whom it is being what they dreamed off, be it religion, cult, gang, fraternity or even the football team. More often than not it is all about acceptance.
There are a lot many who claim be the loners, they like it on their own, they despise any sort of ‘branding’. They don’t want to be associated with anything/anyone. They claim to enjoy being a misfit, they pride in being unsociable. I have come to realize that even they seek acceptance, in fact they crave for it. It may not be like the rest of the crowd, but they still do.
I know of people who aren’t very good as friends, they make passable acquaintances, definitely not the kind who could light up a party. They are happy being on their own, and are seldom seen ‘out’. Yet even these have a very small group they hold dear. It could even be as small as a single person. This group is their ‘safe zone’. The group is a corner stone of their normalcy, so to speak. Often even they don’t realize how important it is to them, till the harmony with the ‘safe zone’ is disturbed. People act completely out of their character when this happens. Sometimes it is hard to believe that it is the same person. It is almost as if it were an addiction, and they were having withdrawal symptoms. It is a sad and sorry sight to see them coz’ they have no place else to go. There is nothing beyond the zone. It is very much like the line by Pink Floyd “You’ll find no safety in numbers, when the right one walks out of the door“.
It is after one such incident that I find myself asking “Why? Why is it important for everyone of us to be accepted?” It is never sufficient that we accept ourselves, we always want someone else. And it cant be anyone else, we are very specific about who we choose as our judges, and extremely diligent too. If I were to go for an interview, or take an exam, I would hope for the easiest questions, the most lenient grading and the highest grade with the least effort. Yet when we choose who we wish to be accepted by, it is never the easy route. We know what we want, and we are making no compromises. The sense of sincerity with which we go about it is astounding! We give our everything for a nod from our judges. And when it goes wrong, its like the whole world just collapsed around you. Becomes very difficult to see beyond. It takes a long time for the dust to clear, and for us to see ahead. It is a feeling of total abandonment.
Why do we have to make it so difficult for ourselves? Even the biggest crook refuses to take the easy way out on this one. What is it? Why is it so important?
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